Academic Utopia - Lop Nor 2333 Institute (Gemini 2.5 Pro Translated Version)

Purely for entertainment. I’m just an Anarcho-Communist fanatic/obsessive. If you flame me, it’s definitely because of your own biases (“butt issues”), so please try not to, because even if you do, I won’t read it (/s).

Any friend around you involved in academic research—not just in deep learning, but more broadly in fields like biology, chemistry, environmental science, materials science, social sciences, history, philosophy, etc.—has surely complained to you about the following: academic warlords in power, “hats” (prestigious titles/positions) running rampant, deceiving superiors and bullying subordinates, fishing for fame and reputation, academic misconduct, power games, administrative arrogance, unfair systems, brain drain, resource misallocation, lack of innovation, chaos in education, and so on and so forth. Two recent events also touched a nerve with me: one was Dr. Wang Xiyuan (name partially obscured) angrily denouncing academic corruption in your region and loudly calling for the rectification of the academic environment; the other was the “eleven warriors” in the twelfth lunar month of the Gui Mao year (late 2023/early 2024), who wrote a memorial (an official petition, like to an emperor) of higher quality than an SCI Q3 paper, to angrily impeach their advisor. I feel like if I don’t express something, my mind can’t return to that state of ataraxia. But actually, I know writing this is useless, you also know I know writing this is useless, and I also know that you know I know writing this is useless.

So I decided to have some fun with it, hoping everyone else can have some fun too.

1. Overview: Lop Nor 2333 Institute is a national academic organization, with operational expenses mainly funded by the national treasury. It is located in a remote area, isolated from the world, with a beautiful environment and pleasant climate. “Lop Nor” is just a generic name for such a region. The 2333 Institute can also make use of dilapidated places like “Chongshan Huosi Lou” (“Insect Hill Fire Department Building,” likely a humorous, made-up name) as research sites, though such wooden structures are not suitable for hazardous experiments. Moreover, Lop Nor has plenty of land to build grand, non-speculative structures (e.g., “Suizong Lou” - perhaps “Grain Harvest Hall”), which won’t cause irrational real estate speculation in the area.
2. Administrative Model: Lop Nor 2333 Institute employs three decision-making models. One is a full intra-institute membership vote, used to confirm the establishment and modification of key institutional rules. Another is a committee system composed of randomly selected personnel, used to maintain the operation of daily rules; in principle, it adopts a one-issue-one-committee model, randomly selected personnel are not allowed to withdraw, and no member should repeatedly participate in the decision-making of multiple matters within a short period. The last is a fast-track decision-making model that references past decision outcomes; in principle, decisions are made according to the pattern of multiple past repeated decisions, unless the concerned party objects.
3. Joining and Leaving the Institute: Lop Nor 2333 Institute adopts a model where all who are willing may join, with admission assessed by a random committee. Departure also follows a voluntary model. Upon departure, a random committee and random experts in relevant fields will evaluate the individual’s achievements, compile an internal achievement evaluation report for them, and archive it for life.
4. Welfare System: Lop Nor 2333 Institute does not issue externally circulating currency as remuneration but provides all members and their spouses with all necessities of life free of charge. In addition, an appropriate amount of non-externally circulating currency is distributed to meet members’ needs, such as for an RTX 4090 GPU or Mixue Bingcheng (a popular, affordable ice cream & tea chain). The Lop Nor 2333 Institute has its own educational institutions, including kindergartens, elementary schools, middle schools, high schools, and universities, staffed by institute members serving as volunteer teachers. It also has an institute-run hospital providing free medical care for members.
5. Academic Assessment: No academic assessment indicators are established, but members are encouraged to practicalize their academic achievements or leave the institute to start businesses.
6. Punishment Rules: For those who engage in severe academic misconduct or academic bullying, are unrepentant despite repeated admonitions, and attempt to violently destroy others’ work or endanger personal safety, they will be directly taken to the adjacent nuclear test site to await righteous judgment. Lop Nor 2333 Institute takes responsibility for its “2333” name (2333 is internet slang for laughter, often sarcastic; here implying a darkly humorous “final solution”).
7. Research Procurement: Procurement of any equipment or instruments is restricted as little as possible, but in principle, non-domestically manufactured instruments and equipment are not procured (after all, it is currently a national institute; if it ever becomes a global institute, this rule will be abolished). If there is a genuine need, self-fabrication is encouraged. Projects involving large investments should be subject to a full intra-institute membership vote after full public disclosure. All procured equipment and instruments are public property within the institute, and anyone has the right to use them reasonably.
8. Publication of Results: Lop Nor 2333 Institute makes all its research results public as much as possible, but they should be publicly reviewed before disclosure. If there are objections regarding their safety, ethics, morality, etc., a committee vote should be held.
9. Dissolution: If a full membership vote agrees that the institute should be dissolved, then the institute will be dissolved. All personnel will be dismissed, and all remaining property will be recovered by the national treasury. Finally, a nuclear test will be conducted on the original site of the institute. Lop Nor 2333 Institute takes lifelong responsibility for its “2333” name.